Chis Cooley is jocular in the face of stupid people on Twitter

Chris Cooley made news this week for attacking Tony Romo for choking against the Lions and even challenged him to a cage match.

He was obviously joking.

Of course, pundits, asswipes and various other people with venereal diseases took Cooley seriously and lambasted him for his egregious comments about rooting against a division rival.

Cooley didn't give a rat's ass about that and instead, posted a bunch of hate mail he received via Twitter on his website, THE COOLEYZONE.

Not only did he post the tweets, in all their graphic deliciousness, he responded to them as well.

It was awesome.  Smart and funny.  

Like we always say:  You don't have to be an idiot to love football.

Keep kicking ass, 47.

(Cooley's responses in BOLD)

Click HERE to be redirected to THE COOLEY ZONE where you can see all of the comments.  But here's a taste of some of the ones we really liked:

For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:

@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!

Yea I’m laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns. I’m on my hands and knees.

@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk shit to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.

Google me bitch. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.

@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much shit yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire

“Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking shit.”

@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.

Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.

@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.

Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.

@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.

Zach, I’m guessing you got picked on a little bit in school. It’s ok, I’m sure you’re a real all-star now. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.

@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!

Since your twitter picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. The dude weighs 4 pounds less than me, Romo is listed at 228. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.

@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little bitch. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him

Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough for your friends though. So that’s cool.

@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser

Not quite sure if you’ve watched any games, but I’m not quite on the bench. I may be on your fantasy bench and that does break my heart a little bit, although it makes me smile that you care enough about me to look up my stats and respond to me.

@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.

Simple and to the point, I like it. Many of my friends concur with this.

@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?

Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or did you just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? And I know you’re not looking for any advice, but Penthouse Forum isn’t a solid substitute for a good old thesaurus.

@A_PFL_Nigga CHRIS COOLEY IS A BITCH ASS NIGGA!!!

Wow! I thought “coozie” was getting thrown around willy-nilly.

@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens jizz.

I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need to become worthy? Explain what you had to do to acquire your status?

The Pick Me Curse. Worse than Madden?

So I was stumbling through cyberspace when I found this gem.  It was posted prior to the 2009 season, and was designed to get people fired up to play fantasy football at NFL.com.

As I watched, it became clear that most of the people in it were either fucked or dinged.  Check it out and see what I mean.

Chris Cooley - Dinged.  Ended up on IR last year and got dinged again this weekend.

Marques Colston - Fucked.  Guy is bowling low fantasy dollars right now. 30 catches for 340 and no 100 yard games and no TDs through six games.  That ain't WR1 mojo.

Neil Rackers - Fucked, in that he ended up on a new team.  He's average this year.

Jason Campbell - Fucked, in that he wasn't asked back, was suppsed to start for Oakland, and then sucked. He's starting again with Gradkowski injured, but for how long?

Braylon Edwards - Fucked. The Browns didn't want him and he's too busy driving drunk in New York to give a shit.  He has talent, but to quote somebody (I forget who) "Some guys love football for what it is, some love it for what it can get them.  Braylon is the second kind."

Chris Chambers - Fucked and Dinged.  He sucks and he has a hurt finger.  Terrance Copper actually stole reps from him.  Unrosterable.

Laurence Maroney - Fucked.  Promised New England fans he'd stop dancing.  He didn't.  Now he's a Bronco and his window to be a feature back in the NFL is basically closed.

Mason Crosby - Fucked?  That's a stretch.  He's basically fine even though he's missed three field goals this year already.  I guess the fucked would be that the Pack was expected to be better than they are.  But who gives a shit about kickers anyway.  I could used "fucked" for all of them because they're kickers.

Chris Simms - Who?  Fucked.  That is, if you consider no longer playing pro football fucked.

Andre Johnson - Dinged.  He's a huge, studly badass but he's always dinged.  Always.  He had a big weekend, but his numbers are still down from where you'd expect them.

Mike Nugent - Well, he was a Jet and now he's a Bengal.  Fucked works.

Marc Bulger - Fucked.  Lost his job in St. Loius and now serves the best gatorade to Joe Flacco in Baltimore.

David Akers - Dinged and Fucked.  Dinged because he's always hurt and Fucked because that bowing, grasshopper shit was tough to watch.

Post-Game Quote Roundup: Week 5

Yearn no longer, for your weekly dose of post-game profundity has arrived:

. . . Well, except me, that is.

Andy Reid on Kevin Kolb:

"I thought he stepped up and played like we know Kevin can play. All the guys have so much confidence in him."

. . . Or, rather, we'll stick with the original controversy for the time being.

Reid on Michael Vick:

"Michael is still the starting quarterback, so we won’t get that controversy going there.”

Who are you calling a wildebeest?

. . . With the presence of mind of a wildebeest on ketamine.

Mike Jenkins, on his 2 pass-interference penalties that cost the Cowboys 48 yards against the Titans (Vince Young has just 4 completions of 20+ yards this season):

"That's how I play the game."

 . . . It remains stable at zero.

49ers’ President and CEO Jed York, on whether his confidence in Mike Singletary has wavered:

 "No."

. . . I, for one, slowed down at 29.

LaDainian Tomlinson on his resurgence with the Jets:

"All players don't slow down when they get to 30 or 31.”

I beg to differ.

. . . We can strut down the catwalk with the best of them.

The Jaguars’ Marcedes Lewis on victory over Bills:

"I think we have the correct makeup, the right attitude.”

 . . . Certainly more than he has in his pants, from the looks of those pictures.

Randy Moss on Brett Favre’s personal troubles:

"I know he has a lot on his plate.”

If you're ever inclined to argue that the universe is just, start by explaining why Chris fucking Cooley gets to snuggle up to this every night.

. . . Hypothetically, he’s one of the best quarterbacks in the league.

The Redskins’ Chris Cooley on McNabb:

"At any time in the game, Donovan can make a play.”

And, finally, three quotes so delectable on their own that they require no garnish:

Cedric Benson on the Bengals' late-game play-calling:

“Naturally, as a runner, I would have loved to pound it away, but you have to roll with the cars I was dealt with.”

Rex Ryan on the Jets' victory over the Vikings:

"We felt confident we were going to win the game. But we didn't know how."

Percy Harvin on his wishes for the Vikings’ offense:

"Hopefully [in the future] we can just open it up from the jump street.”

One day people will forget this show ever happened . . . right?