Every once in a while a person comes along who is so sharp, so erudite, so urbane that you have to step back and just thank baby jesus that your ears have been graced by their wit.
No, I'm not talking about James Harrison. This time.
I'm talking about Channing Crowder.
Let's go back to week 9, when Le'Ron McClain spits in Channing Crowders face.
This is pretty clear. It is some "real ho shit" whatever that means.
Then Le'Ron McClain fucking lies about it. Look at this guilty motherfucker. You wouldn't even have to see the video to tell that this shithead is lying. "I sure wasn't trying to, if I did." Child, pleeze.
And I didn't know a lot about Channing Crowder at the time. Or now. But I did admire how he slung language. "He's a bitch-ass punk. Write that."
And the incident seemed to throw him off his game, as he said:
“They didn’t see Chad Henne get hit twice when he slid. Yeah, a little Stevie Wonder and Anne Frank,” Crowder said.
“Who was that? Is that the blind girl? Helen Keller . . . I don’t know who the f— Anne Frank is. I’m mad right now. F— it. I’m not as swift as I usually am.”
And that's true. Channing Crowder is swift.
And then I read some more. About how Channing Crowder wants to fight Mike Florio.
About how Channing Crowder, in preparing for an upcoming game vs. the Giants, had no idea where London is:
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries. I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
At least he's right about that. There are no black folk in England. Thank goodness! Imagine the scandal!
And lately, we've heard from the erstwhile Mr. Crowder about his feelings regarding the MVP race.
"Everybody knows it should be Michael Vick, but they're going to let Brady win it because it's Tom Brady," Crowder told FanHouse. "You've got to go with Vick. Vick's my dude."
He's also right about that.
It's hard to argue with his analysis, especially the supporting evidence that "Vick's his dude". That alone, should prelude Brady from winning...anything. Ever.
Since Crowder's comments, Vick has come completely undone while Brady's game has remained lofty and stellar. It's almost as if Vick couldn't handle the pressure of being Crowder's dude.
"It's true" admitted Vick, "I was doing great until CC put it all on me. Am I his dude? Shit I don't know. But that kind of pressure was just too much to handle. Am I his dude? Am I not his dude? These are complex questions, and ones that basically shut my game preparation down completely."
Channing Crowder is nothing if not polarizing. And always right.