New JETway for week 3 is up; Jets vs Raiders

We love what Dan Vollmayer is doing with these JETway recaps.  Smart and funny will always get played here.

If we had to nitpick?  Don't pull your punches, Dan Vollmayer.

When deciding the soundtrack for Antonio Cromartie, JETway picked (among others) Beck's LOSER.

Great song, and they played it over Cromartie's recent kick return mishaps.

But then they edited out "so why don't you kill me".

The thought, presumably being, "Jeez, if someone fucking murders Antonio Cromartie they could John Hinckley my ass."

True.  I'm sure that's true.

If anyone ever read the internet, which they don't.  They just google "emmanuele chriqui nude" jack off into a box full of baby ducks and post harassing cockshots of American flags painted on their penises onto Al Jazeera's website.

But they don't read.

So, you're good.  Next time.

Other than that, keep up the good work.

Jets to Fans: We basically are already gonna win the Super Bowl in 2012

"Fuck all y'all!" said Antonio Cromartie.  "All these other teams are full of assholes, man.  And Fuck you, Wayne Brady."

Wayne Brady was not able to be reached for comment, but Cromartie was clear that he didn't like Brady's feel-good style brand of comedy. Or that he was related to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

"He's an ass-jole" said Cromartie.  "And so is his fuckin cousin, Tom Brady."

"Really?" asked Brady from the comfort of his home in Los Angeles.  "He's still calling me an asshole?  I didn't take it on the chin enough this post season and I still have to listen to this ignorant dickhole?  Do me a favor, give him twenty seconds and ask him to rattle off the names of all his kids.  Fucking douche."

It's true that off the field, Brady probably gets the nod from the decorum police.

"Probably?" asked Brady.  "Probably?"

Okay, fine.  Definitely.

"Thank you.  Fuck."

But even the magic of Tom Terrific wasn't able to stave off the shit-talking effectiveness of the Jets.  And now they're up to their old tricks, claiming that the Championship next year is "Theirs to Lose".  Said Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan:

I know Bill Belichick is the Best Coach in the whole Milky Way and probably also in, like Ursa Major and shit. And Ursa Minor.  But that's not the whole thing.  I think I got a better team than him.

But you haven't put your team together yet, coach.  This season isn't even over yet, really.

I know that!  But I didn't come up here to kiss his feet, you know?

Don't you mean rings?  Kiss his rings?

Yeah.  Kiss his fuckin rings.  What'd I say?

It's not important.

Yeah!  And we're gonna play like fuckin Jets!  We're gonna run it up their fuckin ass!

Who?  Who's ass?  It's the offseason, Rex.

We're gonna run it up their fuckin asses and play like Fuckin Jets!

You can't turn it off, can you?

No.

What about you, Antonio Cromartie?  Can you turn it off?

Everybody's an ASS-HOLE, you feel me?

Okay then.  Jets in 2012.  It's a fucking lock.