Sometimes the NFL makes me feel like an old man. There are so many young NFL players with Twitter accounts, and their feeds can be pretty grim.
Guys can't spell. They're dumb as shit. The old-school fantasy of the elite athlete mystique has become the new-world reality of the elite athlete with a fourth grade vocabulary.
Dopes, is what I'm saying. Dopes everywhere.
But then again, we don't watch them because they're Chaucer scholars. We watch them because they're genetically enhanced for our enjoyment.
Which is why it's so pleasant every time you find a really good one that is intelligent or a good guy, or both. A Matt Light or Eric Winston or Josh Freeman or Larry Fitzgerald or Arian Foster or Victor Cruz or Dominique Foxworth or Jeff Saturday or Aaron Rodgers. These guys are all best man material. Phenomenal people to listen to and be around.
They balance out the mire of thugs and dipshits and headcases and felons.
And we may have another good egg. I read this on my twitter feed from Patriots backup quarterback Ryan Mallett.
My first thought was "uh oh".
How's THIS gonna work out?
If it's a girl that's ugly, it makes Ryan Mallett look like a pigger or a doof.
If it's a girl that's hot, it makes Ryan Mallett look like a braggart or poonhound.
Either way, Ryan Mallett is fucked, right? This could go wrong in about three dozen ways.
There's no good possible outcome to this tweet, right? Right?
And then, wincing and looking through my fingers, I clicked the link:
Ryan Mallett, you done snookered me.
Because I went in thinking the worst and I came out thinking the best.
Hope springs eternal.