Terrell Owens: Hey! Yo! My man, Carson Palmer!
Carson Palmer: Uh, hi.
TO: Yo, don't play me like that. It's me, T.O. Baby!
CP: Oh! Hi Terrell. How are you man? Sorry I haven't been able to return your 31 texts, calls and messages. I meant to...
TO: Did I text you? I don't even remember. It ain't nothin. Water under the bridge.
CP: Whatcha been up to?
CP: Okay cool. Well, good seeing you.
TO: Oh Carson, that's just cold, dude. Why you givin me the brush off, man? I came out to play with all y'all today. My boy DHB hit me with the time and place and I said "I'm there". Book it. And here I am. Drove like 45 minutes, man!
CARSON PALMER TRIES TO BURN A HOLE IN DARRIUS HEYWARD-BEY WITH HIS EYES. IT DOESN'T WORK.
CP: DHB, you owe him gas money. (laughs) But seriously man, we're running some Raider stuff so it probably wouldn't be cool-
TO: Raiders are my favorite team, man! I can run Raider stuff too! Check me out! Look at these moves. It's like a Radier cat up in this bitch. Right? Ain't a Raider a type of cat?
CP: No. That was the Bengals.
TO: Bengals? I thought they were a kind of tiger.
CP: A tiger is a cat. A "Raider" is a type of mercenery with a specific emphasis on plunder.
TERRELL OWENS BLINKS. IT'S POSSIBLE HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD OF THAT SENTENCE.
TO: You lost me. I'm gonna go with cat. Raidercat! Meow!
CP: It's not a cat.
TO: Couple routes, Carson. That's all I'm asking! Don't make me take a bite out of your muffin top there Carson.
CP: Muffin top? What the-
TO: You know I'm playin'! But come on. You got a little pudge goin' there, homie. Little lap bagel. Situps! White boys hate situps. If I take one truth with me to the grave that's the one: White boys hate situps.
CP: I do hate situps.
TO: We know! We can see it. You gettin' mad Carson? Huh? Good! Throw a ball at me, baby! Look I'm running an out. Here comes the sideline! Uh-oh! I'm gonna go out of bounds without you hitting me...
CARSON PALMER THROWS THE BALL AT HIM. T.O. PULLS IT OUT OF THE AIR.
TO: That's my boy! Boom! Just like old times! Who's a Raider? Meow! I am! Raidercats HO!
CP: That's Thundercats.
TO: I'm all cats Carson! Raidercat, Thundercat, Dogcat. I'm alla them. Hey, my Agent, Drew Rosenhaus! What are you doing here with a camera? Bring it in guys! Group hug! Come on! Come on! Raiders on three! One, two, three!