You can't tell me that this doesn't look like the underside of a person who scoops "American Chop Suey" every day.
Don't fire until you see the whites of their pockets, boys!
Gruden, Gruden, Gruden.
Now, I know lots of people can't stand this guy, but I like him. He's got his own brand of crazy and he makes me laugh.
We spoke a little bit, in various places about Gruden's QB camp, where he tried to scare the catshit out of incoming NFL rookies prior to the draft.
Gruden as a coach is one thing. I'd rather be on this team here than play for Gruden because he seems like a guy that would turn on you in a second if the insane meddling voices in his head made up a fictitious reason for it.
Actually, I take that back. I don't want to get blown up. I have it on fairly good authority that being a suicide bomber is a dead end profession. Hiyo! Feel free to use that one at the mosque this weekend.
Take this "interview" by Gruden, for example. He's sitting there in that bench-table that somehow doesn't suit his body's proportions, he's been whored out into these awful edits where Coors Light fills 80% of the screen and he's just a little floating Keebler Elf person next to it, and he doesn't ask a single thing of substance.
It's just awkward. Freeney gets cut off like six times, (that's more editing than Gruden), Gruden shows some bizarre drag racing thing and Freeney graciously goes along with it. It's just a ridiculous minute of bizarre jump cuts through the insane mind of Jon Gruden. I felt like I was watching Vincent D'Onofrio in The Cell, except at least this had a story.
I don't know who's writing the rules over at ESPN, but here are a few ideas:
1. The Coors Light angle sucks. We get it, you have to show it. Next time, make a better deal.
2. Don't shoot the legs. It always looks shitty.
3. How about some real questions?
4. Teach Gruden to LOOK at his guests, not just whack off and kind of mutter to them as he stares at his video system.
5. Buses? Buses are for buddy movies, hobos, and people smuggling hash.