That's a pretty sweet fish there, guy. Or is it a dragon with one pretty eye?
"Who want's summa my flounder back, bitches?"
If there's one thing that terrifies NFL D-backs other than high pointing a pass, zero jammability and swishy hips, it's giant tattoos of fish.
Folks, Josh Gordon has them all.
Step aside, Megatron! It's about to get stinky in here. Fish-style.
In case you missed it, the esteemed governor of New Jersey took to the air waves today to remove any semblance of credibility he's ever managed to fool people into believing.
This is a real statesman, folks.
Notice how Christie uses the term "underpaid" for Jets beat reporter Manish Mehta as a derogatory comment.
So, it's Manish Mehta's fault he's underpaid? Through nothing but hard work, dedication and the incessant smell of other men's jock's in his nose he has made himself the top media authority on the New York Jets.
You think he wouldn't like to have his own Grantland or TheMMQB? I'm sure he would. I'm sure he'd like to own a sports car and have a place in the Hamptons, but to get there he needs to stay the course and follow around men who have half his I.Q.
But that's not the issue, really.
The issue is that Rex Ryan, despite the fact that I've long said he brought a lot of fun to the league, is a complete nuclear-level disaster in New York. He has single-handedly (double-handedly if you include ex-GM Mike Tannenbaum) destroyed a once proud franchise.
He is fielding the worst team in the league and now, through a very clear misjudgement of his own, the one near-pro-level quarterback for his junior varsity band of mismatched toys is injured.
I repeat: Because of Rex's decision to put his starting QB into the fourth quarter of an unimportant scrimmage behind a makeshift second-string offensive line, that quarterback is now injured.
That, my friends, is grounds for termination.
You can say whatever you like about members of the sports media, but at the end of the day, the facts are the facts.
Manish Mehta didn't put Mark Sanchez into the game; Rex Ryan did.
Manish Mehta didn't turbo-load the 2013 Jets with a heady mix of incompetence and mediocrity; Rex Ryan did.
Manish Mehta didn't fail to draft a competent quarterback; Rex Ryan did.
And Manish Mehta certainly didn't show a complete lack of professionalism at the recent post game press conference; Rex Ryan did.
At this point, there can't be any more Rex Ryan apologists left. This isn't even a ship without a captain, it's a leaky canoe without a captain.
Or a quarterback.
And if there's anything left that resembles a soul in the country, it's time for all of us to rally behind the unfairly maligned Mainish Mehta. Do we really need this modern day Crabbe & Goyle act to tell us who the dopes and idiots are?
Because from where I'm standing, it's pretty obvious.